31 July 2011


This happened before i even got the chance to tell him how i feel. It was completely random
After a nice dicussion… here is what I get:
S:In all reality i shouldn't even be with you. your too young

Me: After the past few monthes… u decide this now?!?!

S: Yes. I have a military career now and i cant afford to screw it up.

Me: Wow thank you for telling me now… after i have made a fool of myself

S: Well I know how you feel i dont want to but i gotta think of whats best for you and me

Me: When exactly were you planning on saying anything? Or were you gonna just blow it off

S: I wasn't blowing it off I was trying to think of a way to say it without anyone getting hurt but i guess i suck at giving news to anyone

Me: You suck at timing… btw that is the definition of blowing it off

S: What else do u want me to say. im a horrible guy i know this

Me: No you aren't
Now i'm curious and bear with me one this…when did you decide u wanted to end this?

S: I dont have a good answer for you. i really dont and i wish i did

Me: i do too cuz that would either make me very relieved or very very angry but now i guess im stuck

S:If your gonna get mad at me for this make sure its for the right reasons. All I wanted us to be was a lil touch and grab thats all and obviously after you are sexually with someone some feelings develop and i know how you feel about me. i should've stopped sooner but i couldnt

Me: Im mad that you didnt say anything earlier because now i feel like an idiot again

S: you have every right to be pissed at me

Me: damn straight i do but im not all that mad at U

S: well you cant blame me entirely on this one u were part of it too

Me: i dont regret it unlike u… i am an idiot

S: Just sayin it takes 2

Me: Ik i called myself an idiot would u rather i call myself a whore or something?!?!?!

S: Idiot is fine

Me: okay im just upset
Are you sure you don't knwo when you decided u were don or do u just not want to tell me?

S: a lil of both

Me: Please tell me

S: Im not ready

Me: Please.

S: I cant not yet

Me: I need to know
I dont want to get fucked over again please tell me this isnt just about you

S: I was still in love with my ex and i needed an escape and you were my escape but im too stupid to realize how dumb i really am

Me: k

S: Go ahead fuckin yell make yourself feel better i deserve it

Me: Honestly i cant think of anyting to say. i have spent the last 20 minutes trying to think of something but i give up.

S: i'm sorry thats all i got

Me: Of course you are
It's my fault I let my guard down I trusted you and I got used and hurt AGAIN the SAME way just you skipped the bull shit on your half
So thanks for everything really it was a blast but i think it's best if we just have nothing to do with each other for awhile til then have a nice life

so again my heart has been ripped out and i dont want to go through stupid fucking shit all over again especially with who this guy is and who his family is

Use me once shame on you
Use me twice shame on me
… I fuckin hate men!

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