17 June 2010


Alot is going on in my life right now.
Everything is falling into place.
I can drive! I have a job! I have a checking account!
Everything is perfect!
today I got up bright and early only to see it was thunderstorming (i love thunderstorms btw)and i drove my brother to swim lessons to find they were cancelled so i had to take him with me to my inprocessing meeting for work then found out i left the lights on in my car so my dad had to jump the battery. I got fingerprinted and got my Common Access Card ID for work and then got a run through on everything i have to do for work. now i wait for 540ish so i cna go babysit! I love driving without a paranoid parental butt sitting next to me!!!!

13 June 2010

Loveless life

I am tired. I am tired of being so played by everyone, family, "friends". I know i had love. I'm sure I did. But it didn't make me happy. I'm sorry but it really didn't. I thought I was. I thought I'd be happier single. I'm not. I guess nothing makes me permanently happy. Just happy in the here and now. Unless that here and now is with my family. I'm just not happy. I'm unworthy of love. I need help. But I won't get it.

07 June 2010


Now that I can say this without anyone getting offended (actually they still will I just don’t care anymore) I will say this I HATE IT when people can’t text!!! Like they try to make words smaller and all text talk but it ends up seeming like they can’t text like they just don’t have a mental problem or SOMETHING! Or if they can’t pronounce words or screw them up… like supposed and expose ya that’s right i’m talking about you kid… You did it all the damn time and it was just one of the things that PISSED. ME. OFF. ! Lol!!! Well ya people puh-lease learn to text!!! Mainly you!!!!!

01 June 2010

My explanation

So today I saw a comment on my short story, "Dark Abyss" that asked why I write sad endings. So I will explain my theory.

Love is only a fairy tale. Only a glimpse of the love we hold in our hearts for God. Lust is what we approach everyday for that male or female companion. Love is only between a parent and child as God loves us, his children. All the happy ending stories are happy but only for a short while. I doubt it every remains that hapy or they remain that "in-love". Eventually it ends. Sadly I have discovered this all too late myself but one must go on. Every "love" ends in heart break from separation to death. No fairy tale lasts forever, therefore the love we hold for our companions doesn't either. The only love that remains is a parent for their children, children to parent and God to children, children to God. I know many think they are in love but truly think about the love you hold for God compared to everyone else... Which is more real?